Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: it's okay - allowed - to feel lonely » Medusa

Posted by Kath on September 1, 2002, at 14:46:16

In reply to Re: it's okay - allowed - to feel lonely » Kath, posted by Medusa on August 30, 2002, at 3:04:21

>Like my undying, blind devotion is her g-d-given right.

Parents can sometimes be pretty unfair in what they expect from their kids, I think. How we feel about our parents develops from the type of people they are & how they treat us.

> A while ago, a couple of my little sibs were talking about our mother's "friends", and said all they talk about is losing weight and a couple of other topics I can't remember. My sister (she was 10 at the time) said that none of the women can lose weight, because if they did they wouldn't have anything more to talk about, and then they wouldn't be friends!

What wisdom come out of children sometimes!

> About the not needing friends, I don't know. I'm really unsure about what friendship means. I tend to cut negative, or over-needy, or unreliable people out really fast, so I don't have many people to just meet for coffee or sandal shopping or whatever ... and I agree with my parents that I don't need *that* kind of friends.

I agree - and I applaud you for cutting those type of people. Sounds like you're taking good care of yourself in that way.
> Their view seemed to be more that it was materialist, worldly, unspiritual, family-disloyal etc to have friends and enjoy their company.

To me, that is really unhealthy. Why on earth wouldn't parents want their kids to develop friendships? Why on earth would it be disloyal to family, to enjoy friends' company. Sounds like your parents were pretty insecure.

> They picked to pieces every person I got along with, and yet tore into me for not making easy conversation with people and for being a bit shy.

M, I'm really sorry you had family that criticized you & criticized your choice of friends, etc. Once again, I can't help but think they must have been really insecure to feel threatened by your having friends. It's no wonder you feel confused about this. Don't worry about rambling....I don't think you were rambling!

These are the type of issues about which I've received quite a lot of help from counsellors.
Hope you can sort it out & feel more comfortable about it.

hugs, Kath

 

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


[29721]

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:Kath thread:29420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020829/msgs/29721.html