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Mangos - perfect fruit, perfect sex

Posted by Ted on July 17, 2002, at 19:33:35

In reply to I have a confession to make. » IsoM, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2002, at 17:57:26

>But how to explain....

OK, mangos are my favorite fruit and have been for some 25 years, ever since I had my first one, but apparently for reasons other than ctrlaltndel (I was only about 15 then!).

There are MANY types, but only 3 are generally available in the US:

Haden, Alphonso, and Manila (or Filipino) mangos.

Haden and Alphonso are both large and yellow to red when ripe. I cannot tell the difference between the two. The fruit looks like a really fat, round bean (the seed inside is more of a flatter bean, like a giant lima bean). They are usually about 5-6 inches long and about 3 inches wide. Buy them only when there is little or no green; they should be yellow and red, and generally, the more red the better. There must be no soft spots (caress them gently! Just as you would.... well you get the idea). Sniff them discretely -- they should have a distinct fruity aroma. Those picked too young and gassed to ripeness will not have the correct aroma and it is easy to notice the difference with a little practice, just as ladies not ready to be... well you know. Put them in a *paper* bag with the top rolled closed (like a lunch sack) and set in a still area, out of the sun, but not cool either -- perhaps around 75 F for 1-2 days. Like all things tender and sensual, they must not be rushed!

When ready to eat, caress the fruit, bathe it in cool water, smell its perfume, and then undress it. Bite it gently as you suck its sweet flesh while allowing its ample nectar to drip around your face. When the flesh is consumed, carefully suck on the seed while writhing in ectasy at its sweetness. Slowly wash up while swooning in the afterglow of the meal. Do not eat a second right away - you will need time to recover, time to rest your senses and allow your mind to fantasize about the next encounter.....


Manila mangos are shaped exactly like the *seed* of the Haden/Alphonso mangos and they are roughly the same size: 3 inches long by 1 inch wide, and flattened on the sides. They are yellow in color, never green or red. Their seed is also much like a lima bean's, but flatter. They too should be quite aromatic. They have a different flavor but are equally good.

I eat them to make the others jealous. Like exotic nubile girls, you will never find Manila mangos at regular American style markets; you must look elsewhere, usually at Chinese and Vietnamese markets. They are eaten the same way, but one must exercise special care with these: they are much more delicate, more easily bruised and injured. Go slow, be gentle, and take your time. They will give many rewards and will haunt your memories forever. Once you taste their flesh, you will never forget them!


Ted



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