Posted by Mandy on June 22, 2002, at 8:34:27
I have posted on the other boards, but briefly, I attempted suicide in May (the day after our 34th anniversary) by taking 5 different medications. I am a nurse so I think I knew what I was doing and I believe I wanted to die.
I am seeing psych twice a week and feeling somewhat more positive, but I cannot stop these thoughts that I do not want to be married anymore and my husband just makes me so angry. I must admit that he is a kind, gentle person who would do anything for me. So why don't I realize what a good situation I have??
For background, we moved to our current home 5 years ago (after leaving home of 20 years and my job of 18 years) for my husband's job and then he lost the job after 23 years with the company. He is working again but at less salary and I think I have a lot of pentup anger about the move and his losing his job. None of this is his fault but my anger makes me feel guilty and then I get depressed and isolate and then bad things happen.
I guess it also makes me mad that he is always so even tempered when I am so frequently anxious or depressed. I am not sure what I want or need but I am so afraid of becoming suicidal again and how do I get the love back for my husband who really is a sweet guy?
poster:Mandy
thread:25577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020616/msgs/25577.html