Posted by Gracie2 on March 22, 2002, at 19:46:47
In reply to Re: Lying, posted by Rach on March 21, 2002, at 16:46:04
I have been through your situation exactly, although not quite so young as you, I started to alienate myself from my family and friends when it all got to be too much for me. I wanted more time with my husband and son and less time with friends, who were very demanding with my time, and the rest of my family, especially my mother, who was in the habit of arranging my time as it suited her. At first I told lies because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but eventually I grew out of that because I didn't like to lie, either. I simply started to say, "I'm sorry, but I have other plans" or "I'm busy that day" and refused to go any further. If they pressed me for an explaination I would sound slightly irritated and say something like, "Listen, I do have a life of my own" which is usually enough to make other people back off. There were a few people that kept insisting on backing me into a corner, including my mother and a friend I had known since about 4th grade, and I found this intolerable. Sad to say I don't speak to either of them anymore...I felt very guilty for awhile, but I had given them both ample opportunity, explaining over and over again that I needed more time to myself and didn't like their insistant daily phone calls and the other pressure they laid on me.
Of course, job interviews are in a completely different class...if you want the job, then you have to come up with a good excuse to reschedule. Otherwise, it is none of their business.
Gracie
poster:Gracie2
thread:20503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20656.html