Posted by sar on March 8, 2002, at 10:21:08
In reply to Thank you Sar, posted by Mair on March 7, 2002, at 22:21:49
dear Mair,
dads...aarrrgggh! i think the roles reverse as people age, like the child crying for candy, throwing the parent into a whirl of frustration...and later on it's the parent crying for attention, spinning the adult child down a vortex of guilt.
i don't think it matters that you don't have stories of abuse to tell. that's a different issue. just because he didn't hit you or call you names, it *sounds* to me like he did something that obviously makes you hesitant to maintain contact.
a friend told me a couple of years ago to treat everyone with compassion and equanimity...i had to look that second one up in the dictionary...he told me this after i'd accidentally hurt a few people...anyway, i've been meditating on that one for about 2 years now. i think he got it from some Buddhist reading he'd been doing.
can you make your telephone calls in private, where your kids can't hear?
anyway--i hope you can feel grateful in some small way that he cares about your kids. seems like it's a sign that he cares about you...
poster:sar
thread:19420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19490.html