Posted by Fi on February 11, 2002, at 13:02:53
In reply to wordy, self -absorbed response message for Fi., posted by trouble on February 10, 2002, at 13:29:57
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> Can you say something about your desire to disclose more data than what you normally do in the event your words might identify you?I wouldnt want it to be possible for any internet user to know very personal things about me as an identifiable individual. Board members are supportive and respectful, but that cannot be assumed of the whole rest of the internet using population. There is information linked to my work which could have marginal relevances sometimes to my posts, but it would be easy to identify me from my work. Not that I know anyone would actually bother to do so- I just dont want it to be easy!
My boss already knows I have a history of depression, tho he doesnt know half of the personal things about myself and my feelings/experiences which I have posted. And I'd rather that he, my colleagues, and any miscellaneous malevolent surfers, didnt know the whole picture.
Some things *are* personal. I suppose my nightmare scenario would be getting nasty emails to my own email address based on the information which I had posted on this Board.> and say I'm using my office computer and my boss could see it I will come back and ask you to defend that position.
That isnt a particular worry, tho I have tried to be more organised and do my work PSBabbling during breaks. Strictly speaking, we're not meant to do non-work surfing in work time, tho I think its unlikely they ever check the web logs. But there was a short stage when I was using it quite a bit during main work hours. Now I do it at home (as now) or in breaks.>
> Also, would you say more about the sense that it would be good for you to, at times, say more than you normally do (if not for those constraints).
Its not really a big deal- just sometimes knowledge from work which might be some use in replying to others, rather than anything about me. Not anything mega, tho.
> I myself am rather hell-bent on self-expression. Finding a safe place where I can disclose, and where people don't automatically respond with "Who's the freak?" has had unexpected positive ramifications in my life, I mean I am moving forward w/ things I've been stuck on and procrastinating about for two years.
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> I believe the growth is largely b/c I'm no longer pouring my energies into courting the world's cold-hearted misunderstanding, since I've found a world of warm-hearted sophisticates, who are unfazed by the freak's freakishness, I don't have to FIGHT for her all the time, can set that business aside and turn my attention to other things for a change.I agree absolutely on the value of this forum, and it works well without us needing to identify ourselves fully. It is a bit weird as we are a warm bunch, but its a bit like having a meeting with good friends which is being broadcast for the world to drop into. And we dont know enough about all of them to be sure that they are nice people too!
> You mention there've been responses to your posts that have upset you. How did you handle those experiences?
Havent upset me a lot- surprised by the fact I was upset at all by what were not big issues. Put it down to part of the directness of this Board, and also showed need for me to be careful how I worded things to other people if I didnt want to irritate them. Or be prepared to take the flak. Got over it pretty quickly.
Made me more cautious for a while but vastly outweighed by positive experiences, and I did bring it on myself! I think its partly as sharing very personal things, even anonymously, makes me feel any negative stuff directed at me much more than I would otherwise.One of the limitations of this board is that even 'long' messages are short and out of the context of knowing the person, and being able to clarify straight away. I've realised since your message that my message could have been read as meaning I had some significant stuff I wasnt sharing about myself. There isnt.
The particular paper tiger I have is the hoarding paper tiger (so all too literally surrounded by paper!) which I have mentioned on this Board, which led to some great suggestions and a much more insightful range of ideas than my therapist ever managed!
No worries at all re clarifying- hope this makes it clearer.
Fi
poster:Fi
thread:17888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020202/msgs/18099.html