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Krazy Kat - Back to Drugs

Posted by Gracie2 on January 31, 2002, at 16:44:47

In reply to Re: KK - Drugs » Gracie2, posted by Krazy Kat on January 29, 2002, at 11:30:30


My new psychiatrist agrees that I am a bonafide
manic depressive with all the classic bipolar symptoms, leaning a bit more to the depressive side - although the "highs" can get really high.

Do you remember being in a little kid on the playground and playing on the swings? You would get that swing going as high and fast as you could, kicking hard with your legs, pulling back on the chains for momentum, swinging with all your energy until you could see your feet against the sky. It gave you so much satisfaction that you didn't care about anything else...not the screaming teachers, not that you could hit another kid, not that the swing might break. Hell, you didn't even care if your panties showed. That's how I would decribe a manic phase.

Then the depressive phase...dragging your shoes along the ground to stop and walking unsteadily for a moment until you got rid of your "sea legs".
Back to class and schoolwork and a teacher who moonlights as a dominatrix. Total crash and burn.

Anyway, back to the psychiatrist. He agreed with the medication my GP had ordered - Seroquel and Xanax - except that he believed I was not taking therapeutic doses. Instead of taking 100 mg Seroquel PRN, I'm to take 300 - 400 mg daily and 2 mg of Xanax at night when necessary. I talked to him about going back to work full-time and he didn't think that was a good idea quite yet, particularly since work helped to drive me crazy in the first place. The unpleasant doctors, the rude patients, the incompetent managers, the gossping and back-stabbing between co-workers...it was just too much. Of course, many people have to put up with the same BS at work, but my defence mechanisms were not in place. Intead of defending myself or rolling with the punches, I would stand there like a deer caught in the headlights of a car and allow myself to be run over.

Anyway, my doctor and I, we didn't discuss any long-term plans except that I MUST keep my appointments. He may keep me on Seroquel but I'm sure he doesn't intend for me to stay on Xanax forvever. He said I was a "complicated case".
Damn right - when I do something wrong, I don't mess around. He might have meant that I've been resistant to drugs like Paxil, Prozac and Wellbutrin, and I definately don't want to fool with anything like Depakote ever again, which turned me into an android.

Thank you (and the others) for advice about the dogs. I am printing out your answers and showing them to my husband. I realize now how important it is to match the dog with the family. In fact, I'm not even sure we should have our golden retriever. He seems happy and we love him, but he's such a large dog that I can't help thinking that he should be on a farm somewhere, running around and chasing rabbits. We have a fenced back yard, but he doesn't like to be back there unless there's somebody with him. He stands on the back porch and barks at the door every few seconds. I understand this bark: "I'm out here...I'm out here...I'm out here."

Thanks again,
Gracie


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poster:Gracie2 thread:16896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17624.html