Posted by finelinebob on January 27, 2002, at 0:32:52
In reply to Re: Therapist wants Suicide Agreement (not to) » Shar, posted by Ritch on January 26, 2002, at 22:00:52
Like (from what it seems) everyone else who has posted on this thread, I don't have any experience with this personally ... though I have heard of others using such contracts.
Sure, some ink on a sheet of paper may seem trivial, inconsequential, demeaning, etc. But from what I know of these contracts, what's written on the paper is not the point.
You can't work with a group unless you are willing to risk and willing to trust. Sure, both (especially trust) take time to develop. But agreeing to such a contract is a first step -- it says that you won't take matters into your own hands. I imagine given the contract's connection with the group, it also means putting your faith in the group's ability to help you work through a crisis that serious.
Whatever is written on the paper, a contract is a trading of "goods" and placing faith in another to deliver on those goods. And, if you're honest, delivering on your end as well.
Even if you can't accept this act in terms of the symbolism of a such a contract, then take it quite literally as one more reason not to die. How many of you have, in hitting what feels like the "bottom" have had one thought stand in the way of doing yourself in? Maybe it was the thought of the grief you'd cause a parent, a friend? Guilt over leaving a pet behind? That last blockade can get much thinner that either of those ... sometimes, just one shred of a reason not to die is all that's needed. If you make such a pact with someone you trust or care about or whatever and you make it in good faith, then perhaps it is the act of agreeing to such a bond rather than the terms of the bond itself that will carry you through a crisis.
Yeah, I'd be p.o.'ed if someone gave me such a contract. Why? Because, for me, it would work. The part of me that's been there for at least 18 years now -- the part of me that wants to die, no matter how well I'm doing -- would feel thwarted by one more sentimental, melodramatic piece of crap. Because it would work.
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:17208
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17251.html