Posted by mgrueni on January 26, 2002, at 9:35:21
In reply to I NEED SOME INPUT..LONG SORRY IN ADVANCE 8o), posted by alley on January 25, 2002, at 21:25:39
Hi Alley,
< well its over a year since my boyfriend and i have been going out..im seventeen and hes twentyone / weve been having a lot of problems...and i know its because hes having a hard time dealing with my mental illness(s) or whatever the fact may be...he is being really not cooperative / our relationship is going deeper and deeper into a hole day by day and the sorrys dont mean anything anymore.
basically i really need people to tell me if theyve ever been in a situation like this >Oh yes, I´ve been in a similar situation. Not exactly the same as yours but some similarities are detected. The following are only assumptions based on my own experience. For me it looks like your relationship is built upon a basis of... how to put this...*dominion*? You are the one who´s ill and therefor weak. He is the one who`s
a) older than you
b) studying psych
c) mentally okAt least that might be his outlook on things. Well, from what you wrote it seems so.
But then, if he`s so much *better* than you are what makes him stay with you? Perhaps low self-esteem? The fact that he`s not cooperative but even makes you feel worse by his comments makes me wonder what he gains from such a behaviour.
(I repeat what I said before: these are only assumptions!) Maybe, if he helped you, that would mean you *may* get better one day. For him that would mean he wouldn`t appear as *perfect* (compared to you) as he thought he is. So he tries (if even unconscious) to suppress you and keep you *weak*?Do you think you deserve to be treated that way?
I don´t.Well, I could be totally wrong, but if there`s anything that seems useful to you, just pick it out and ignore the rest I´ve written :o)
Take care,
Micha
poster:mgrueni
thread:17205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17228.html