Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: American Culture - Hey Mouse! » susan C

Posted by Cam W. on January 2, 2002, at 17:54:05

In reply to American Culture and mice, posted by susan C on January 1, 2002, at 18:26:25

Susan - You are saying that North Americans and Australians are the only independent-minded nations of the Western world? Mind if I take the lead, with the backing of the other Canadians on this site, secede from this group. Now, I am asking politely, because I know what happened last time someone tried to leave your little group.

My mom told me not to play with bullies and felons ("it's a joke people, don't ram a flagpole - or a Fosters - up my.... oh, whatever).

Haven't our "I Am Canadian" commercials taught you anything? =^p

How about the guy who gets "jerseyed" for teasing the Canadian at the office? Betcha he was "leakin" all over that Armani suit, before he was able to "turtle". As an aside, okay, we will give you glowing puck until your learn the fundamentals of the game (or just look to see which way all the players are facing), but adding that streak to anything faster than a wristshot went just a tad too far. Since we are on the subject of sports, why do you bother to play anything but the last 2 minutes of any basketball game (a decidedly Canadian invention). And you Aussies think that Aussie Rules is a rough sport; try lacrosse; where the object of the game is to slash your opponent into submission with webbed pieces of hardwood (yeah, I know they now wear shoulder pads and helmets, but it was getting so that none Lemieux family were able to attend reunions anymore; none of them were able to remember where they were being held).

Look, we'll let you have all of our comedians (Phil Hartman, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, Tommy Chong, Dave Thomas, Rick Moranis, Bruce McCullough, Eugene Levy, Mort Sahl, ... Howie Mandel, ... Dave Foley, ... William Shatner, .?.. Allan Thicke, ... David Steinberg, .?.. Tom Green, ... Rich Little, ... Norm MacDonald .... Oh God, shoot me now!).

We are really easy going up here. It's probably because our beer is 5% to 8% alcohol (it does get cold here). Maybe it's because our familys' are so close knit because we can't go outside in the winter (I heard that one in Florida - I had 2 words for the lady who said it, "electric carstarter". Perhaps it is because no one has to join our pathetically-funded, but tough, armed forces (you guys aren't going to let anyone else move north of you). We did kick your asses in the last war against each other.... in 1812 - 1814 (Geez, if you tried just a bit harder, you coulda had Toronto, .... but nnnooo, you had to leave the center of the universe to us).

Maybe it's because our politicians are impossible to take seriously, anymore. Back in the 60s and 70s we had P.E.T. (Trudeau) who use to cuss while Parliment was in session (he really did say Fuddle-Duddle, eh), and get away with it; he did a little spinning kind of dance behind Queen Lizzie's back on world wide T.V., and got away with it; he lent his wife to the Rolling Stones, and when Keith Richards got caught bringing heroin into the country, Trudeau made him give a free concert to blind kids. Now that's a leader!

What do we have now? A guy (who was in Trudeau's cabinet, so should know better) who claims that the homeless people like to live on the street, because they told him so (we have meds for that, Jean). He handles protesters by either having the RCMP pepperspray peaceful protesters; or if the protesters act up, he personally shakes their .... er, neck.

So mouse, thanks for allowing us to join your club, so you can take all of our fresh water, our oil, other minerals, trees; but we already have someone who does that. They live in Ottawa.

In the immortal words of the Arrogant Worms (a truly Canadian band), "It's not that we're better, it's just that we're less worse." But then again, they also sing a song about a guy named Malcolm who solves his problems with a chainsaw (but he never has the same problem twice).

I hope this is taken in the good humor in which it was intended. And look, we'll give you Jim Carrey, but Shania Twain is ours! Hell, we'll even throw in Celine Dion and her grandpa .... er, husband.

- Cam (with his tongue so far in his cheek it hurts).

P.S. How many Torontonians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Answer: Two! One to screw in the lightbulb and the other to go to New York to see if that is how they do it.



Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:Cam W. thread:11539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020102/msgs/16167.html