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Dr Eamer.....Craziness.......all in the mind. » kid_A

Posted by dreamer on December 20, 2001, at 20:15:23

In reply to Dr Eamer, Help! I think I'm Crazy!!!, posted by kid_A on December 20, 2001, at 16:30:47

>
> ...maybe you can understand, i dont know, maybe the notion that you can is uncalled for, forgive my intrusion... i started on meds because i was depressed, sad, weepy, boo hoo... now on meds sometimes i still feel depressed, yet I have this pervading feeling of madness, like the way that you get lookiing down from a high tower at the people down below, and no, its not suicide ideation, but you wonder in your head what it would be like to jump, just feeling crazy, i dont know i feel like im slipping into a new suit, its sharkskin and it fits me like a glove, and sometimes all the old feelings come rushing back and the only thing that can save me is alcohol and doctor xanax, but the rest of the time i am on a flat plane and tightrope walking on a wire and i know that its a long way down but i dont think that i care, i think that im only two feet away, its that mad look and the smile, and those eyes that are staring, not at you but beyond, at the skyline, where the land meets the horizon, out and beyond even that.
>
> do you understand? dr. Eamer, am I crazy???

No intrusion I'm flattered but a bit scattered and have a physical need that I can't get on prescription.

Meanwhile..

Risk taking the madness the adrenaline rush of excitement playing with cruel life on the edge.......kicking up the stale dust cutting through the human flesh feeling so ashamed of being human .
If you were rich maybe you'd hanglide off the empire state building or parachute naked.

You carry an adventure within that can't be fulfilled and it's frustrating and fantasy doesn't fill the empty gap.

Everyone around don't walk the path so consolation is escapism to drown the yearning.

PASSION can be a lonely city loving who you are but in conflict being yourself isn't conventional ,to be lost but carry a map that will eventually lead you to the treasure whether it be creatively or through someone else's eyes.

No you aint mad eat yer greens and drink plenty of warm water .
Your not alone in your quest and pain.
I'm suffering the the grandeur of delusion I too want to jump but I think I can fly.

Hoping my autonomy of consciousness makes sense .

Dr.Eamerxxxxxx


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poster:dreamer thread:15832
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15834.html