Posted by Simcha on December 4, 2001, at 11:51:05
In reply to Re: Very Very Very Sad...More... Need Help!, posted by kazoo on December 4, 2001, at 2:54:48
> Simcha, my dear, I am confused. In your first posting you state:
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> This person is obviously deceptive to string you along only to drop a bomb. How can you trust anyone like that?Well, yes, he has major trust issues too. After all he is a recovering addict who suffers from GAD.
>
> (By the way: how long did your relationship last?)
>
The relationship is going on 6 1/2 months now. The ex was a 2 1/2 year ordeal.
> How long did it take for him to come to this conclusion? I get the feeling that your relationship was a "test drive," of sorts,which isn't bad in itself, but he should have notified you of his intentions right from the very beginning.Well, we both were kind of clueless as to what we have had. We have both kind of "test drove" this relationship. That part is definitely a plus.
> > 2. Then he said he realized that his notion of the perfect mate (He said it was a carbon copy of himself!!!! What crap!!!)
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> What narcissism!Well, yes, he's got this BIG EGO.
> > ... does not exist and that it was unfair to hold me to those super-human standards.
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> An Ayran from Darien, no doubt. "Super-Human Standards": when were these published? It's difficult enough just being human, but superhuman? Who wants to be a cartoon/comic character? And thank God you're not superhuman,UGH, how droll and trite.LOL! Yeah, that's it! I kind of like being human.
> > 3. To all of this I wanted to shout, "GROW UP!"
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> No, you should have shouted "PALIMONY! PALIMONY!" and see how his tune changes.*grin*
> > I've realized that my "perfect fantasy mate" does not exist. I accepted that fact a long time ago. Where has he been?
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Your "perfect fantasy mate" *does* exist and is selling mangos in Sao Paulo, Brazil on the corner of Rua Alcides Pertica and Ceasare. Don't accept anything because acceptance is a form of defeat.
>
> (For the "perfect fantasy mate" try an escort service. They may cost some bucks, but what the Heck, they'll do anything you want, if that's what you're looking for. Contrary to popular belief, fantasy does not set you free ... it dullens the senses.)LOL! Yeah, Sao Paulo here I come! Do escorts take credit cards and offer discount rates? ;-)
> > I guess I really need to evaluate why I'm working so damn hard to remain attached to this man. That would be something to do.
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Forget about both the analysis and evalutation. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
>
> The dude did you a favor by being so forthright and honest. (Unless that was just a bunch of rubbish he sold you in order to hide his CLOSET space.)
Well, yes he did do us both a favor... Yet this has not ended yet...We had an almost all-night discussion where he finally had a few breakthroughs. I was surprised and amazed to learn where he has been during this relationship. He has been dealing with some major issues. He wants to see a relationship councilor with me to attempt to work on his issues and our issues. He wants to learn boundaries!
I think that perhaps we might be able to work together for a little while longer. I've been here before with other men. This keeps coming up. Maybe it's time to deal with it instead of running for cover and leaving.
I'm still evaluating..
Thanks Kazoo and welcome back! :)
poster:Simcha
thread:14796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14874.html