Posted by Greg A. on November 16, 2001, at 16:32:21
In reply to Re: K. - you jumped in on my post so . . . » Greg A., posted by Krazy Kat on November 16, 2001, at 13:21:13
Here I am intruding again. If I may say so Ms. Kat, you sound just like me. Anxiety IS A BIG COMPONENT of my depression. At one time I thought I suffered only from chronic anxiety with no depression at all, but have since been proven wrong. By living with the anxiety and refusing to treat depression as the root cause for so long, I think I may have contributed to the long upward climb back to normal. (wherever the Hell that is)
I too rarely get drunk when I drink. I found it impossible to relax without some alcohol though, so I drank every night. Like other drugs you build up a tolerance so where 2 or 3 drinks may have once done the trick, it became 6 or 7 to get the same effect. I did not drink to get drunk. Just to find some sense of peace with myself that would allow me to feel okay being around people or even just sitting by myself. Crawling out of ones skin, as you put it. I recall being so tight that I could not put together coherent thoughts because anxiety dominated my brain so much. So I drank. And I take Klonopin. (or the generic clonazepam) The Klonopin, like any benzo, intensifies the effects of alcohol. I never found this to be much of a problem because I take my only dose early in the morning and I always drank in the evening. With Xanax though, I could be a very cheap drunk.
If you have time for a long post, and I don’t seem to be able to produce any other kind, I’ll tell you about my one up close and personal experience with ‘normal’. (and this is the Readers Digest condensed version too!) In 1983, after six years of ever mounting anxiety and a variety of physical ailments that all spelled hyperthryoid, I was finally treated for . . . hyperthryroidism. The hypthy. Greg was shaky, jittery, had a resting pulse of 110, could not gain any weight, sweated a lot, and generally felt really shitty 24/7. The post treatment Greg (after 2 or 3 weeks) noticed this wonderful sense of calm and well being beginning to take over. He could talk to people and feel totally relaxed doing it. For the first time in years he could make public presentations and almost enjoy it. He gained weight. His bench press went way up (important in jock men) He was a happy guy and not nearly so irritable with friends and family. And then one day the anxiety came back. I guess it happened over a period of time, but I still remember it as one day. But it was different. No heart palpitations or shakes or sweats. Just an unfounded sense of fear and unease, and a feeling of DEPRESSION! After a year my brilliant doc determined I was now hypothyr. Alas, I have never felt that ‘normal state’ since that time. But all is not lost cause I’m closer now than at any time since 1983.
I saw my pdoc today for the first time since April. I asked her about zyprexa for anxiety, instead of Klonopin so she gave me 2 weeks worth and said to try it and let her know the result. Ever tried it K?