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Re: 2nd bad vilbel- 2nd scepe- 2nd scout- 2nd peng

Posted by Roo on October 25, 2001, at 12:11:03

In reply to 2nd bad vilbel- 2nd scepe- 2nd scout- 2nd peng , posted by kid_A on October 25, 2001, at 11:34:14

Kid--I don't really know what to say. I have definitely
felt that way--that I get too intense, start opening
up to another person...I feel like they give me signals
that they're open to me and who I am in all my vulnerability,
so I open up even more, and then I have felt, at times,
like I get rejected. It hurts REALLY bad. And it feels
humilating too--because I showed them who I was, and it's
like they looked and said "oh...get away..."...sooner or
later, though, I realize that it's their problem, not mine.
That I wasn't WRONG for sharing myself, that maybe this person
has their own issues that makes them unable to handle someone
else's vulnerability. It scares them. Sometimes it seems like
there's people who come along and you bond to them really quickly--
and reveal alot and then realize it was too much, too soon. I
had that happen with a co-worker. I had just started my
job and was in a really unhappy time in my life, and felt really
insecure about the job, and I felt really close to her and like
she would understand and so I confided in her, and cried, etc.
She later told me that she had felt I'd been unprofessional and
that I made her uncomfortable. It's understandable I guess. But
And I was embarrassed. But I stopped beating myself up about it, because
the more I learned about her, the more I learned she had very strong
issues herself about being emotionally open. She was a very guarded
person. Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this....I just
know how you feel, and I've been there. With regarding suicide, I don't
know....I've been tempted to tell people sometimes that I feel like
killing myself, but I'm afraid to. I'm afriad they'll think I'm being
melodramatic or just trying to get attention. In a way I wish I
COULD be that open with someone, that trusting. I'm sorry that this
girl couldn't handle it. But you haven't done anything wrong.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011025/msgs/12970.html