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Re: suicidal pms

Posted by fluffykitty on October 4, 2001, at 12:29:42

In reply to Re: suicidal pms, posted by sar on October 3, 2001, at 21:56:38

Dear Sar:

> i took a psychology course years ago and learned that "self-actualization" is the highest human personality stage one can get to...and not too many do, but it's the point at which you are completely okay with yourself. like completely--this is my belly, my intellect, these are my
>faults, this is me--i'm fine with this.

Yea. I thought it was also that it was when a person was living in accord with thier inner directives and were on a path and doing what it was they were driven to do productively in life. In other words for whatever reason most people miss thier true calling in life. But for those who are self actualized they are doing thier true calling whatever it is.


>
> in the process of trying to kill myself twice, i thought both times that i'd reached self-actualization. i felt really light and euphoric both times.
but both times it did not work, and perhaps that meant that i didn't truly want to die, i just
>felt like dying and healing all at once.

Thats very interesting. I have felt that people can die a metaphorical death which is theraputic in itself without really dying. In other words when things get really bad and one has a berakdown of some sort, its like going to lowest low and "dying" and then coming back up healed, being reborn as a somewhat different person within. You know? I feel this has happened to me a number of times. Can call it the death of illusion, or perception of reality that wasnt working and when one is reborn they have a new perception, hopefully less illusion about themselves and life and people. Having less illusion doesnt mean being cynical. It means just understanding whats what and being able to go on from there to be happier and healthier with life and people.

> they do say that death is the hardest on those left behind, but what of us with no spouses, no one who truly truly truly does care, blood sweat
>tears and spit?

Well what about other friends and family? Not necessarily spouses. Unless one doesnt really have any family or is estranged from them and or doesnt really have any friends. Thats not good.

> i think death must be most difficult on the one >who is dying: the finalization involved.

Sure.

> i was born into this life without choice. i
>think i want my life to be good. i think i want
>a career, a job, a child...at this point though,
>i'm straggling, struggling, sweating, getting
>nowhere, all ready a bundle of problems...

People struggle in life and can also get through it and have better times and then struggles again etc. Death may or may not be answer. Its up to the individual.

>
> i recently got burned some on the WTC thread,

Didnt read it.

>but i'll say what i think about suicide...i think it's completely righteous. i think it's
>natural and pure. murder is far worse tham
>suicide.

Ok. However they also say that its an act of anger and of desperation. How many people kill themselves out of purity of motive or contentment? Remember that guy in Philly, that politican who shot himself on tv? They said that it was an act of great anger. "Yea that will show them! Ill just shoot myself and well theyll be sorry!" They may be sorry but in the end theyll go on living and get on with life. Then there are those who shoot others and then shoot themselves. But thats different. But they are still angry.
Are you angry? I grew up being really really angry. But I didnt want to kill myself. I wanted to not be angry or to use that energy for something that would be like useful like art or something. Im not angry anymore for the most part.

> i think we should be able to decide whether or
>not we want to hang around.

You are. No one can stop anyone from doing what they want to if they want to. I know a guy who stepped out of a 6th floor window 2 years ago.

> i'm still around, i think there's an incredible will to live, but...i feel pleased with CHOICE.

Its built into us. The will to live.

:)


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