Posted by akc on September 12, 2001, at 6:46:24
As I continue to process this, the magnitude of what has happened is just overwhelming. That I must continue to live life as normally as possible just seems so trivial. But that I must.
My anger has become more focused. I am amazed at how willing others are to so quickly strike out and kill anyone in retaliation -- even if innocents are killed in the process. I also was amazed at a few of the rants I heard, one in person at alanon last night, that we brought this on ourselves. Again, all I can think of is all those innocent folks who never brought this on theirselves.
My anger then seems to be at those who would do this -- no matter their anger, this makes no sense. And at whatever god that would sit back and allow this, free will and all. Piss poor construction, I say. I guess what I am really mad at is that concept that there is some god that reaches out and helps in some instances, but allows great tragedies. My god healed me, my god comforted me, my god lets me into heaven -- why heaven later and not now -- I have no comfort in some god concept right now.
So now I go to work. I go to give blood. I try not to be consumed. I did not sleep. I have to be careful. This makes me very fragile. I'll do no one any good if I melt.
akc
poster:akc
thread:11233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010909/msgs/11233.html