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Hi there and thank you :o)

Posted by mgrueni on August 19, 2001, at 18:22:22

This is a mulit-respond post, I`ll copy and paste the statements of several people who replied to me and then reply myself to them, ok?

Sar:
< sometimes i also skip over new posters' messages to read how the older or more post-y posters are doing. i remember being a bit ashamed when no one responded to one of my posts when i was a brand-new poster... >

Hmmm.. and I thought I wasn`t that `brandnew‘ at all. I am here for more than a months now and replied to several posts. I didn`t realize that most of you thought I was new.

< and Dr. Bob actually has a message in his notes about messages that receive no responses (it has to do with not taking it personally). >

I know. I tried to point out that I was , of course, aware that I was reacting much too sensitive, sometimes you just can`t control such feelings by telling them off. My „mind“ knew that no-one was ignoring me intentionally, but my heart got upset nonetheless. I am normally that type of person who is way too „practical“, always thinking before saying something „in public“. This time it simply didn`t work.

< how are you doing now? >

I am still scared and worried, but at least I realized that it`s now time to stop „pretending“ as there is no need to any more. I don`t have to work tomorrow (a sigh of relief) and will probably spent the night having a good cry. Not because I am „that“ scared of this surgery, it`s more that I need to get rid of all this piled up adrenaline which still floods through my bloodstream. Seemingly my body didn`t realize yet that I can rest now.
Thanks for the forty six hugs :o)


Kiddo:
< I usually scan through and then read the others, I hadn't gotten to that one, and I apologize. I hope the hugs are still wanted/needed, because I'm sending some your way. >

Yes! They are still wanted! Thank you :o)
As I tried to explain before, it`s not that I don`t understand why my post got missed, it was partly my own mistake, putting such a request into a thread, instead of starting a new one. That`s because I am posting on another „comfort site“, too. There is much more „traffic“ than here, and usually there`s always someone who reads your post, even if it`s put into another thread. I did not realize that it`s different here.
Really, there`s no need to apologize, actually I tried to prevent making anyone feel guilty, that was not my intend at all. I just thought I now have two options:
1. Say nothing and become bitter about it all, or
2. Get it out of my chest
And decided option 2 would be the wiser one.

< I hope you are feeling better, and if not, please let us know, we'll be here for you. >
See? It was indeed the right decision. I am impressed at how much better I now feel, just because someone asked me to let them know how things are with me. Thank you again :o)

SusanC:
< Thanks for bringing this up.
I realized as I read your post that, there are several people I look for here, like scanning a crowd. >

Absolutely nothing uncommon, I think we all do that. It`s impossible not to „filter“, I do understand that.

< Sometimes, I just have to lurk. I think I have made more friends here in one month than in all the time I have lived in this town, and you all understand how important a simple hello is. It also is something to try and keep track of who everybody is, what the history is, so I can be a good friend. It certainly is making my brain work. >

Well, then at least there was something useful in my action, even if I did not intend to „bring a topic up“, I just wanted to free my mind from all those negative thoughts by writing them down and possibly get a reaction to it (of course) ;o)

< My apologies for missing a cue. >
And again, no need to apologize. This is becoming a „ping pong“ match, otherwise. You apologize and I feel guilty for saying what I said. Just let me thank you for the hug and that you took the time to reply, which saved me from becoming disappointed of the whole world. :o)


mist:
< Micha, I think it's best to start a new thread for something like that so it doesn't get overlooked. Make yourself and your needs stand out. >

And exactly that is my problem, it seems. My father used to teach me one thing over and over again when I was a very young child: „you have to be strong if you want to survive. If you allow yourself to be weak, you will loose. Allowing yourself any kind of weakness is the same as suicide in a way“. So, it`s rather difficult for me to admit it, if I am in the need for some comfort. As I said before... my „head“ does know what the right thing would be, just my heart is fighting against it. My fathers advice wasn`t meant to be cruel at all, I know that. And it actually saved my life many times, but it also gets me into unnecessary trouble sometimes. I will have to work on that one....


< I'm sorry about the pain you're in. I understand wanting to put off dealing with something like that. I hope your surgery goes well. –mist >

Thank you. :o)

AKC:
< Micha,
I am so sorry -- I am so caught up in my stuff, that I didn't even think to respond to your needs. Obviously, I can relate to your upcoming surgery. >

I could say the same to you. I did think about responding to your post, but as I mentioned, I suddenly got very scared because it reminded me of my own fear, which was absolutely unacceptable at that time since I was still in *denying mode* and I worried I would * freak out* if I allowed myself to get emotional involved to the topic (which is necessary if you want to reply „seriously“ and be of any help)
Then, after I hit the submit-button and made my „no-one reads my posts“ post public, I was sure you would reply to it, so I would get my chance to tell you that I wish you all the very best. Here is a (((hug))) from me to you. I don´t tell you to be strong, but to follow your own advice: keep posting and as the surgery gets closer.


Thank you all again for the many replies, they helped a lot.
And now I apologize in advance if I won`t post much tomorrow, but I have to pack and prepare for the „journey“ on Tuesday.

Take care,


Micha
< who will obviously never overcome her habit of writing *long* posts > ;o)



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poster:mgrueni thread:9924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/9924.html