Posted by kid_A on August 22, 2001, at 11:27:01
In reply to Re: poetry and accidents » kid_A, posted by sar on August 19, 2001, at 23:45:07
> but i'm baffled that porn exists! it seems really bizarre...
i guess im not suprised that it exists, i think that there will always be money in the manufacturing of desire...
> is it a local cd or could i eventually see it in a store?
it will be national and should be in a good many stores... virgin, tower, wal-mart even i think...
> i'm not one to talk. heh heh, i was so vodka-drunk when i wrote that last message to you...there i am throwing it back over ice and cranberry while lecturing you...
try vodka + red bull... its like you are a little wired + drunk... somewhat popular drink at the bars/clubs down here.... nowhere near the same sensation as doing a line and knocking back a vodka/tonic but what can you do...
> yes, yes...that one more little thing...usually when i get drunk i hold the belief that i am completely sober, that i'm a steel-bellied incarnation of the Buk, another shot, another line, another SOMETHING!
same here, i need to be in a certain mood, that self destruction blues kind of mode, but i just do it and i dont even see it coming... the next thing i know im about to pass out... im trying to curb that as much as possible... id rather be able to walk around, and walk home then be completely obliterated... but promises promises...
> i like the way that was written. v. much. i understand. i feel driven to live on the edge, do not understand how my mother drives her station wagon 45 mph tapping her fingers to soft elevator music. i need EXCITEMENT--the embarrassment wears thin 'tho. today i walked around work laughing when i wasn't in the bathroom crying (i might be fired for going in drunk the other day). a friend asked me what was so damn funny and i said "my life is so fantastically humorously HORRIBLE"
yes, i need the same things, i connect w/ people most who are like me, scene makers... really, a friend and i both are crazy, but when we are together, its like crazy x 10... we encourage each other i think... i guess i want to live my life, rather than be quietly desperate... as for the humor of self introspection, yes, the tragic parts of my life are so achingly futile as to be rendered laughable... right out of a movie... my sister tells me my life seems straight out of one...
> you are kind.
thanks, as are you, and empathic, which is twice as good as being kind, so you've got it in spades....
> (are you good at painting your nails, or do you do the messy rockerboy thing?)
i cant paint my nails for shit... it comes out all messy and i cant figure out how to do it w/out getting it on my fingers!
> you are kind. so much time i spend wishing i weren't sar...so it's nice when other people appreciate me, or placate me!
ask yourself who you would want to be... given what you know and what you have learned in life and what you have experienced, (you must trade these things in to be someone else), would you still give it up? i have a feeling that the person you are inside is worth many times more than anyone you might wish to be...
> (i am finally going to listen to radiohead's Kid A tonight.
cool, its a great album, check out amnesiac if you can... download audiogalaxy and dl some radiohead... its as good as the old napster...
> i hope you're doin well, kid...
as good as i can be for now, im on hiatus from psycho babble for a little while since i will be out of the country (in england)... so until i get done w/ some work duties there i probably wont have net access... hold the fort down and stay out of trouble... stay out of bad neighborhoods, thats good advice as well, be good to yourself and cherish the things that you know about yourself... only you know them so well, and they are something to be proud of...
-love in a
heart shaped
box.-k_A
poster:kid_A
thread:8990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/10031.html