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Re: More on aloneness

Posted by susan C on August 12, 2001, at 20:49:53

In reply to More on aloneness, posted by AKC on August 12, 2001, at 13:34:40

Hello AKC,

I am so glad to see you here again. You have an ability to articulate your situation so well and it continues to help me, even though you are not feeling so great. Am I being selfish?

Mila's post was very good, you are both people I look for when I read, sometimes I go back in time and just wander.

A person who gives a massage, male or female, is called a Massage Therapist. There are different styles from 'slide and glide' with massage oil like swedish massage, Hawiian(sp?), to 'deep tissue' therapeudic. Some, you take your clothes off and have a 'drape' or in the case of Rolfing (named after Ida Rolf) your clothes stay on, but the work is very deep.

My personal preference is for the strongest person I can find that has the broadest experience and does different things so I never know what to expect. If it is the same massage over and over again my body knows what to expect. I was in a car accident about two years ago and as a result of this perception, I have changed therapists three or four times.

This reminds me of the day I broke down at work and left. 1997, The first thing after making my pdoc appointment, was schedule a massage. I was such a mess. At least my body felt relaxed.


There is a german lady I know who loves to kayak. She arranges outings every weekend. She is so disappointed only 10% of the people who say they will come actually arrive. I think she has a very responsible attitude and that in general, Americans don't take promises they make very seriouusly.

It is hard to find people who do what they say they are going to do.

I decided today, that when I walk, I am going to try to smile and say hello to every person who passes by.

just my $0.02
-s


> A "friend" just called. Actually, the quotations are unwarranted. This friend has a lot of baggage and it is unfair to take my baggage out on her. But being in the space I am, her call hurts. She called yesterday and suggested dinner today. Being desperate for human contact, I said yes. But today she calls and cancels because she had scheduled too much on her plate, and me, being the new kid in town, is the one to go.
>
> I spent some time last night considering what I need to do to make more human contact. My phone does not ring. That has to change. I will choose the road less traveled if I continue to have repeated depressed episodes. Actually, I have threatened my therapist and pdoc with taking my life the next time. Probably an idle threat because I doubt that I have the courage. Too many unanswered questions in my mind from my days of religion -- too many fears that the hell, fire and brimstone preaching I heard in my early twenties may be real. While intellectually I soundly reject such stuff, there is a part of me that must still believe, or I think I would just check out now. Because this pain I am in today is just not worth it. I cannot stand being alone any more. I cannot stand the phone no longer ringing. I have done this to myself -- but I don't have the patience to undo it -- nor the strength to tolerate the pain.
>
> Your lonely hounddog


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poster:susan C thread:9358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9390.html