Posted by susan C on July 30, 2001, at 13:29:00
In reply to What do you expect from a spouse?, posted by Willow on July 28, 2001, at 19:18:36
> If you could imagine a perfect spouse, what would they be like? (Well near perfect.)
I think mine is perfect, except he tells me stories I ve heard before, or when we see other people, I hear the same stories. I would really appreciate it if he would do what he promised, like clean the bathroom, pick up and put his dishes in the dishwasher, wash the dishes wen they need to be, clean up after himself when he does a project. As he once said when he was a carpenter, they dont pay me $20 hour to clean up after myself.When he told me the other day he was in love with a coworker. We have shared these things before, but not like this. She invited us to dinner, to meet me, what kind of person would live with this person for so long and put up with him for so long. I haven't seen him get so cleaned up, in an ironed shirt, bought flowers, hunted for the address, in a long time. He has never accepted an invite before, said it was because of me. I have been very ill for a long time and he supports me, trys to make me laugh, worries about me. He has coffee with this person every day, she is intelligent and has a house she is fixing up on the water and has a partner she is exasperated with and shares this with him... I told him, several days after he first shared with me that he was in love with her, that if he was in love with her, he could leave me. To just do it. I think about it now and I cry. I wish I could be better. He deserves better. Do people some times not know what they are about to do, or what they said, or what they really want to do? I think he is in love with her. That he is devoted to me and will not leave me, but if I wasn't around he would be with her. Something has changed and I dont trust me anymore, I dont trust that I can do enough, that when he says he loves me that he really does. I always thought I was the only one in his life. Now, he spends more time talking to this person, than he does with me, each day. They share more in common each day, than I do with 30 years gone, one kid gone and an independent 17 year old. I talk more to son than to father.
Oh, this question got me going. I am going to send it before I think aobut it anymore. Any observations appreciated.
poster:susan C
thread:8211
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010726/msgs/8371.html