Posted by Marie1 on July 20, 2001, at 19:43:48
In reply to Re: Therapist problems » Marie1, posted by shelliR on July 19, 2001, at 22:43:15
Hi Shelli across the river, in the big city,
Your work sounds interesting, and creative. I'm another "right-brainer". This could be a post wholly by itself, but is it my imagination that mental illness tends to hit creative types more often than logical, left-brained types?
Your thoughts on transference sound very similar to mine. I don't see where early childhood experiences/relationships formulate the relationship with your therapist. I'm the first to admit I don't really know jack about psychoanalysis, but as I said previously, it's not such a stretch to see why feelings occur inside a theraputic relationship. As you stated, the patient is "the center of the universe", at least for that 50 minutes. The person with whom you are talking is concentrating solely on you, and (in my limited experience), makes it clear that they care about your welfare - in fact, your welfare (mental health) is the very reason you are together for that 50 minutes.
I realized when I made the statement about falling in love with significant others that I should have explained more fully. But what I meant is basically what you said - again, the two of you are totally wrapped up in each other, there is mutual caring, and intimate exchanges. Of course, the difference here is that this is mutual. The fact that in therapy only the patient is the center of attention, doesn't matter. The end result of all that caring, focused attention is feelings. Nurses in combat zones have noticed that their long term patients develop an emotional attachment to them for the same reasons; it's very common. (MASH did an episode on this.)
I recall, when I first developed feelings for my shrink, telling a friend that I couldn't decide if I wanted him to be my husband or my father. I'm still not sure of that, maybe a combination of the two. In reading the book, I'm realizing these feelings aren't at all weird. In fact, some women have way more bizarre fantasies - like, they want to be INSIDE their therapists (not in a sexual way).
You said that for you, the attachment is the transference. Why does transference have anything to do with the attachment? Why can't the attachment stand alone? Maybe I'm not understanding what you meant by that. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't think transference has anything at all to do with feelings the patient develops for his therapist. It's like Freud was making a normal reaction to a situation (therapy) into something way more complicated. As Freud himself said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Marie
poster:Marie1
thread:7541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7688.html