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Re: rock+hardplace, fryingpan+fire- sit. rep. » dreamer

Posted by geekUK on July 19, 2001, at 6:23:34

In reply to Re: rock+hardplace, fryingpan+fire- sit. rep. » dreamer, posted by dreamer on July 18, 2001, at 7:40:21

Heya,
I have called my therapist, under the pretence of reseduling apointment, she should ring some time today. Disscussion with a prof. is probably a good idea. I live close to the city area,It probably is easy for me to get help but I tend to hold my head between my knees and wait for the storm to pass. Read about your letter, its a pain and it always will happen at a bad time (sods law, every reaction, ie bad feeling, will have an equal and opposite reaction ie good mood demanded). My mother will always ring at the time when I cant get out of bed. When your in a low mood its hard to talk to freinds, letalone a parent that you havent spoken to in 6-8 months. you have had alot of advise on the post so I probably am providing an echo. follow your conciounce (SP),try to deside how much you need her and how much you like her, being aware of a big bias for your current feeling. I use this method a lot, letting my actions be chosen by littlest guilt. I guess I am twisted too much to the light side, damn religious indoctrination.
sorry I am kind of ramblingand not making concise points....hmm. My dad, as I have said before I dont really like, (this does connect to the conciuons bit). Until I was about 8-9(?) he was an alcoholic and used to beat my mum up. the worst times were when I was before 3, times I can claim to, and to a large extent, not remember. After this I can claim to be unaware quite well. the problem comes that my dad, inso many words admitted this on the phone. Therefore I cannot claim ignorance, So I feel I should tear the guy apart. Even if I do this mentaly he would probably die by (not my) his hand, this is bad as he needs to look out for my sister. This is compounded by the fact that during a long running divorce case my dad all but forced me and my sister to testify against my mum on this point. my consionce (I really cant do that word) tells me i am f@ckt.
I think I understand you on the trouble f'ed up parents can bring. but I cant giv any advise as i have no idea how to deal with mine. -past my christian beacon. I did write a separate post on your letter but lost it in the electronic graveyard. I remember ending it with something like ' the love of a parent isn't always unconditional, but the love of a child is'.
I guess these are the tests of a born again athiest.
MC

> > Sounds a tangled mess.
> > I can,t give much advise but I will say give up trying to decide what to do , chasing yer tail just getting mentally dizzy talk to someone in psychiatric hospital you can just walk in you don't have to commit yourself, someone will help.
> > Don't go in pissed they'll percieve you as being a threat.
> > Social workers can do some good.
> > What area of london are you living?/you don't have to say . Here in SE it's relatively easy to get help straight away.
> > If you need me to help let me know,no strings or friendship bonding necessary.
>
> Looks like I may have to help myself I'm on way down and a letter I recieved from my mad parent whom I've been trying to bury hasn't helped . Such anger wells up + why at a most vunerable time and is it national gaddam DIY day I'm surrounded by noise.
> Take care if possible,nothing helps does it


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