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Re: Therapist update...all is NOT well

Posted by Rzip on May 12, 2001, at 14:56:07

In reply to Therapist update...all is well, posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 15:33:49

My therapist DID not call me last night :-( I am very sad.

Thank you for all your comments. I would also like to hear from a therapist point of view, through. Wasn't there a psychologist who posted on PB-administration a while back?

I know you are all thinking that I am such a baby, so dependent on my therapist. Wanting my every whim satisfied. While that might be true, I also feel like it is not fair that I put such willpower into pulling myself away from my obsessions of other people in order to focus my energy more productively on this therapist. I mean realistically, I probably set myself up for this fall. Still, this is hard! Working on a relationship (even with a therapist) is hard. I am halfway thinking this is all my fault, and thinking that this all stinks. It is amazing how much energy gets drained with all this. I am sleepy all the time. I do not want to think any longer. So there. It is stupid to wait for my therapist to call also. Why should he have such an influence on me? It is stupid and pointless to leave endless messages on his voicemail also. I don't want to work on this any longer. But he really is a good therapist. Deep down inside, I think that he can really help me if I let him (that's a paraphrase from the person who referred me to him). So now the question is how do I let him help me. This is so hard. I already left a "million" messages on his answering machine. He can not exactly sit glued to the phone. I can, but then that is not an healthy habit. He wanted to touch base with last night. But he did not. Why do they use the term "touch base". It sounds so military. I don't want to whine and pout any longer, which is what I have been doing both to myself and over the phone in the messages that I left. But I can not exactly stop either. I probably should get away from this computer also. But then I'll just end up lying on my bed. Not good. Hmm...what to do? I suppose I could just be patient and wait for him to call me, as I am sure he would. That seems to be the logical thing to do. But my mind is not very coherent, so it is a bit hard to think clearly. I must have a lot of dyfunctional neurotransmission in my CNS. Too much, too little. Up-regulate; down-regulate. Hey, I still have my humor. That is definitely something that my therapist has taught me well. He is a very kind and witty guy. He always makes me smile. I like him very very much. In general, our sessions have been very special and glowing. He always make me smile, even just thinking about him. I have a special crush on him. Sometimes, he mocks me -- I do not always like that. He is very devoted to his profession. He really is a very good therapist. Hmm... I miss him a great deal. I think not being able to see him last week is probably at the root of all this. I miss him :-( By his own admissions, he has green eyes. How many people do you know that has green eyes. I want to see him very much. I know that if he could talk to me now, his soothing voice would be enough to calm and reassure me. I do not know why I am such a sensitive person, but I am. That's all for now.

Rzip


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