Posted by Kingfish on April 24, 2001, at 14:28:35
Mila:
In a past thread I started re: discovering yourself once you feel better and having trouble in a relationship, you stated:
"listen to your heart. Do not worry about other person's feelings. Give that person a gift of a dignity. Be honest."
I really liked your response, and you other responses and wondered if I could bend you ear a little more and ask for some more insights.
I've been trying to work on my current relationship and plan on trying to work on it for at least several months, but everything seems like patches right now, not getting to the real problem.
Have you ever had to decide to "give up" a long term relationship? Do you really think it is better for a person's dignity to "quit" rather than keep going, just at a different, or lesser, level?
The other problem is that another man is involved, though not in an adulterous way, (ooo, very Biblical of me), but it almost feels as if my heart has tranferred its loyalties to him.
I don't know. Honesty is a big one with me, even more than loyalty, and loyalty is the big one with my husband. But what happens when things change as they have now?
I feel as if when we married I was a different person, full of darkness, and he was as well. It just doesn't make sense to me to stay together if the love is futile, if it's fake, if there's no happiness.
But there are so many voices that say that is worng. I don't know if my family and friends would talk to me. I would hurt so many people, and I really wouldn't want to do that.
Does this make sense?
Thanks!!
- K.
poster:Kingfish
thread:5791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5791.html