Posted by storm on March 20, 2001, at 17:49:37
I have been in love with a married man who has helped me through so much-saved my life (he has bp himself). we can be nothing more than friends & have dealt with that, but still, his wife knows I have strong feelings for him. he has to be really careful or she could leave him (it could trigger her to leave, but it's because of problems they have already had before I met him). & take his two young daughters (his life). plus a new baby on the way! they are still in shock, I am in shock, they Never thought they would have another baby. the thing is, it hurts me. first off, he can't talk to me much for a while; he needs time & his wife doesn't like me much I suppose. (we are both jelous of eachother I guess, but in my heart I really do want to be close to her. she has helped me too.) and the other thing is, even though I'm friends with him I'm sooo in love with him. but it's been going ok, I can handle that part. the new baby bothers me, it hurt so much when I found that out. I just wished I could have shared my life with him instead of her, and they're not even real close, thought about divorce a few times but never went through with it. why couldn't I have been her, loved him, had his children. that's what my heart has ached for. I know my time will come someday, but I truly Love him. I wasn't hurting over this stuff much until now, a new baby. so how am I supposed to handle my bp on top of all these feelings I have. I can't talk to anyone really, they would freak if they knew I was in love with him. and a therapist would probably think I was crazy when there is about 25 yr difference between me & this guy. I couldn't help falling in love with him. and it's not in my head or anything, he's felt just as much. too many feelings. how do I keep the depression seperate when it's hurt either way? & how can I go without talking to him when I used to pour my heart out almost every day. sorry this is so long, I just need some help I guess.
poster:storm
thread:5189
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010209/msgs/5189.html