Posted by shar on February 24, 2001, at 1:45:24
In reply to Male......, posted by JennyR on February 23, 2001, at 20:08:38
I have, and probably will in the future, felt jealous of people if my therapist seems to give them "more attention" than I get, or treats them in a different, more supportive way than me. I get angry at her, and sometimes stay angry for awhile, until we can get to a point where I feel she has reaffirmed her love for me as a person.
She doesn't have to love me more than everyone else, just "at least as much."
My therapist says that usually the therapist plays a parental role, so what I would be acting on with her, or fighting about, would be related (to some degree) to my mom, and how that all went growing up. And, it is certainly was true that I never thought my mom paid me enough attention--or any for that matter.
I'm in a group, mostly women, so when I talk about periods, or menopause, or sex, I tell the guys not to listen. I don't really care too much, because I'm in there to work on myself, mostly, so if they are uncomfortable--sorry.
But, the jealousy does not seem unusual to me at all. If I felt that way again with my therapist, I'd tell her, and have to work thru my shame at feeling that way, and maybe have to fight with her, until we could get to a more satisfying place. I trust her more than anyone else in my life, and have been seeing her for a LONG time (individually and in two separate groups--had a break of about 2 years, then went back for marital counseling which turned into divorce counseling).