Posted by ksvt on November 30, 2000, at 22:43:10
Today, with some prodding from my therapist and following the recent suggestions of Noa, I called my pdoc to set up an appointment to discuss some possible med changes. He told me that he had decided that he was going to retire in a few months and had been discussing with my therapist to whom I should be referred. (A salient point she neglected to relate to me before I made this call) He sort of left the door open for me to say that maybe I should just go see the new person, but i foolishly, I think, didn't bite. Now I have an appointment set up for next week that i really don't want. I've been through 5 or 6 meds changes with this doc over the 5 or so years he's treated me, and I've always felt a little bad that I haven't been more of a success story for him, because he's certainly stuck with me and put alot of effort in. For about 2 of those years he was my therapist also. I hate the whole process of trying to evaluate and adjust to new drug regimens and I think I've had a tendency to bail out on these things too soon. My attitude about them probably sucks - at least I'm real pessimistic about finding a combo that might really work. There's such an approach avoidance because I can't bear the thought of another drug failure, and I don't have alot of confidence in my ability not to make another failure a self-fulfilling prophecy. As soon as I got off the phone, I felt that I had made an immense mistake making the appointment. I don't think I have the energy and level of commitment to give another combo the opportunity to work, and I'm not sure he has the energy, commitment etc. to help keep me on course. I'm sort of thinking that having someone with a new perspective might be a good thing, but I don't quite know how to say that. (I have a highly developed sense of loyalty) I thought about just calling him back and telling him that upon reconsideration, I realize that I'm just not committed enough to make any changes now, and just putting things off until he's closed his practice. That's a pretty truthful statement but maybe not a wise choice given the fact that I'm really not doing very well now. Any ideas? ksvt
poster:ksvt
thread:3353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3353.html