Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 21:13:38
In reply to Claims of Abuse as a Form of Abuse, posted by Mark H. on November 9, 2000, at 20:53:39
I don't really get your point. An arrow in the heart is not the fault of the person who is shot whether or not the shooter was aiming at her intentionally. I tried to make it clear that I objected to what Greg wrote not who he is. I think Greg and I have resolved our differences. I don't really know what you want to know or accomplish so I don't think I'll try to answer questions I don't understand.
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> A teacher of mine once asked, "An insult is like an arrow that falls harmlessly to the ground at your feet. Why do you insist on picking it up and stabbing yourself in the chest with it?"
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> In skimming the "light-hearted" thread above, what seemed to be missing was any calm, compassionate, instructive explanation of what exactly was offensive (even "abusive") to you and one or two others about what Greg had written.
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> I am only asking for more information, not siding with Greg or defending what he wrote. Actually, I am much less interested in the content of the interaction than I am in the process.
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> It seems to me that claiming what Greg wrote was "abusive," without asking him any questions about his intention or presenting any evidence for making that claim, is precisely the same as labeling an individual with any pejorative. Is it possible that your own comments to Greg, by your own definition of what constitutes abuse, were themselves "abusive"?
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> In each era, we imagine we know what is right and wrong within a context of social change, and sometimes in our outrage and desire to correct injustice we make dangerous assumptions on the barest of details. We miss the irony that calling someone a bigot is itself an act of bigotry, that all of the "isms" are just labels that reduce people to stereotypes.
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> I realize this is a much deeper and more complex issue than I have suggested here, but perhaps this is a useful start.
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> Best wishes,
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> Mark H.
poster:Hannah
thread:2414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2435.html