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Safety First for You and Kiddos-Am I Overreacting?

Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 23:12:52

In reply to Can anyone help with some questions please, posted by Kim(for my hubby Brendan) on November 3, 2000, at 10:41:21

Not wanting to paint your situation with too broad a brush, if your husband continues to do things that are uncomfortable enough to scare your friends (and you), you need to have a plan for leaving the scene for a while with your children.

This is only to say that any behaviors that are too loud, too aggressive, too physical (even if it doesn't involve harm to a person), too scary...you do not need to (and perhaps should not) expose your children to, nor do you need the trauma and stress.

Have a plan, a place to go, even if it is a shelter, a bag packed for your children ready to go, and leave if you are too uncomfortable. Don't wait until you are shaking with fear, or panicked. Leave when you think "this is not good for me or the kids."

There are probably hundreds of options for you to explore along these lines, and I encourage you to have a simple, clear plan to carry out at a moment's notice.

I may be overreacting, but I think trauma-wise and safety-wise, as long as he is not doing anything about his condition, you need to be ready to protect the little ones (and yourself, of course).

Shar


> Hi Everyone,
>
> I'm writing partly on behalf of myself, but also on behalf of my wonderful husband Brendan.
>
> In 1998 something personally traumatic happened that caused what we think was Brendy's first MAJOR "manic high" episode which resulted in the diagnosis of Bipolar. While some of this certainly made sense with regards to his rapid talking, excessive energy, "high" moods agression (both verbally, physically ie while driving, with others) the part that didn't make much sense was the depression... I can't honestly think of that many times when he was "truly depressed" and neither can he. Brendan ended up in hospital for quite a while, on heavy medication which completely changed the person that he was.. he could barely talk, let alone think or walk... it took him 3/4 of a day to sit and weed a patch of garden bed less than a metre wide. HE HATED IT and so did I. The trouble is he liked(and still does the highs)- (I find this hard to understand but am trying). One of the things that Brendan discovered was that he would get an incredible ability to write "STUFF" all kinds of different things. In a few hours he would write 10-20 pages of info on things he had no prior knowledge or formal learning of.. This he finds very disturbing as he does not know where all this info comes from. One of the most distressing things (for me and his friends anyway) is his obsession with religion and god. The first time Brendy was convinced that he was Jesus or god reborn and started to talk to groups of people, write incredible things. call hundreds of people on the phone... want to talk to the pope...etc... it goes on... my questions are;;;
>
> Have any of you had similar experiences?
>
> Did any of you write pages of your "thoughts" or "things you have been told by a voice"
>
> Brendan refuses to go on medication because of the last episode in hospital... naturally he's frightened and does not want to be on drugs... he feels that he can control this himself...
>
> His latest Manic High only a few days ago sent me into a mad panic and frightened some of our "new friends" off(we've moved state as after what happened before we thought a new start would be good. While that seems to be over (with a minor low now) I am still concerned that this will happen again... I don't want to see him drugged up like he was before... but I want to help him.. we have 2 beautiful children who adore him and I love him dearly.. but I could do with some words of advice.... I don't doubt that when Brendan finds this web site he will want to write to you and ask some questions too...... hope I haven't babbled on too much
>
> yours in advance
>
> Kim


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