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Re: Ever feel you're trapped in hell in your head?

Posted by R.Anne on November 4, 2000, at 13:58:04

In reply to Ever feel you're trapped in hell in your head?, posted by Angela5 on November 4, 2000, at 13:16:26

I hope I'll do better than the dog in responding. I think it's a good idea you wrote here. I too know that feeling of being trapped by my limitations presently. I'm sorry that the people you live with don't understand what you are going through and are making things worse for you. I've had that experience, too. When I felt worthless and in the pits of depression some people close to me didn't believe me and then I obsessed (when I'm very depressed I obsess a lot) about how they were treating me. I find it hard not to obsess at those times. That's a very difficult situation you are in, to be sure. Can you get help for the depression? I think that your family needs to get educated on what you are going through but I don't know if they would do that. What I did for myself was to concentrate on getting better and I got medicine for depression among other things. I know that things seem impossible for you now but they can improve. I think if I were you I would want to work toward getting a place of my own because unless there is a drastic change in the people you live with they aren't doing you a lot of good. You might have financial costraints that might stop you from moving now but seeing a therapist and coming up with a plan on how to have a better life and working toward that might help you. I really feel for you and hope you can get the help you need. Sorry, if this response isn't too good but I'm a bit foggy from depression myself. Good luck to you.
*****
> And your body is trapped, too. (I moved in with my family after going on disability due to depression, and because it didn't seem like a good idea to be alone.) My mind is in hell; my body is in a place where "depression" is so foreign a term to everyone that it's almost absurd.
>
> I'm told to regulate my sleeping schedule. (I can't sleep until 5-6 am and then get up at 2 pm.) I keep trying - it goes back to where it was. Getting things thrown on me and horns blown, etc., etc. at 9:30 am do not help, they hinder.
>
> At least my stepfather has finally quit telling me how ugly I look at least 3 times a day (literally) since I finally completely broke down over that one.
>
> If I were them, I'd hate to live with me, too. I can't even manage to sweep the floor. My mother set a sweeper outside my door, and apparently I was stepping over it for almost a week before I finally realized that it was even there. When she leaves me notes to do chores and such, it just seems impossible. I wish it didn't - I actually do WANT to help - but how do you explain that suddenly the floor just seems way too big, dusting seems like you might as well just give up - about the only thing I can manage to do is empty the damn dishwasher.
>
> I don't mean to seem ungrateful. I'm fully aware that they don't have to let me be here, etc. It's just that my head is a nightmare in itself, right now I can't seem to stop crying, and I feel like I'm being further pounded into the ground by everything around here, although I know it's not intentional...
>
> Sorry. Don't really mean to rant, it's just that there's no one to talk to but the dog, and I think he's sick of listening... I just want o be buried in a hole and never come out.


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poster:R.Anne thread:2079
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2083.html