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Re: I can relate to all of this tooo ... jonquiljo

Posted by Deelove247 on March 23, 2008, at 16:08:10

In reply to I can relate to all of this tooo ..., posted by jonquiljo on March 6, 2006, at 14:19:18

I just stumbled into this site because I am feeling unloved and scared and fustrated with everyone around me at this moment.
It is hard to over come your own feelings when you have no one to share them with. And it seems that no matter what advise you get and no matter how hard you try to express yourself and make things better it never seems to be enough or be satisfactory. You talk and you talk and you wait and wait, hoping for your loved one to take notice.
Soon your emotions get worse and the fustration gets the best of you and then you are left in a deep dark hole which you feel you can not get out of.
I feel like crying everytime and sometimes I do. I can't sleep I stop seeing my friends, I stopped calling and seeing my mother, sister and brother and I am finding that my own children are against me.
But even though I get to this place at times, there is a voice in the back of my mind that reminds me where I am and who I am and that I took the challenge of my life to make the best of any situation and keep trying.
I read a book called "finding the love you want" It has really changed my life to cope with times like these. I read it over and over again and have used some of the technics to better myself and understand why I feel the way I do and why my partner is the way he is. The book is mostly based on "self" . . Why we attract or are attracted to the people we are with. Understanding this concept and opening your eyes to a different view is like taking a pill that makes it all clear. So as I sit here, writting and sharing my experience, my thoughts and my feelings, that I have had for the past 6 hours on an Ester Sunday (hiding in the basement), I realize that the feeling is slowing going away. And I can't wait to see my family and apreciate them for who they are and understand that maybe at this point in their lives, maybe that is all they know (and can) give.
I know am strong I have been thru many ups and downs in my life time, with a divorce in which I had to raise my daughters on my own with no support from their father or family.
Now I have a wonderful man in my life that even though he can be mean and cruel and forgetful of my needs and concerns, he is still at my side and once in a while, (far and few in between) he shows me that he really cares, that he honestly loves me, the only way he can. Which sometimes might not be enough to me. But because I understand that some views and somethings are just very hard for him to grasp due to who he is, what he has gone thru in his life and what his needs are I can relate and work with him to find a way. With this understanding and this point of view I've begun to see the little, but slow, improvement in our relationship. As I said before, IT IS HARD! VERY! HARD, but I believe we need to remember that we can not expect to feel love, the kind of love we want, the kind of understanding we are seeking, from someone else, outside of us, until we realize how much we love and understand ourselves. And maybe there is something that holds us back from seeing the truth behind what we really feel about ourselves and perhaps we try to seek to satisfy that need with something outside of us. It could be food, drinking, smoking, drugs and even relationships. All I can say is take one step at a time, don't look back and don't ponder to much on: what, or what if's, or maybes, or thoughts of what might happen in the future as it has not happen yet. I think these are nothing but doors to confusion and missery. Please if I can leave you with any good advise, it is to read the book. It will explain a lot about yourself and were you stand in any realtionship. Even if it's with freinds co workers, family, children and the person you chose to live this path of life with you.
I love him very much, and I love my children no matter what. So I will do what ever it takes to keep my world happy. Everything passes . . .and so will this. If you end up realizing that you just can't take it anymore or that you have lost a part of yourself along the way and the person you thought would be there to appreciate and understand and support you, is not the person for you . . then congratulations! you have taken the first step in loving yourself and when that gets stronger you will see that you have attrated the right person. Because the person that deserves your love will be the person that loves you more than you love yourself. So how much do you love yourself? As this is how much they will love you back. . . . and maybe you shouldn't expect anymore.
Hey, that person could possibly be the one you are with. Because together you can both find eachother in yourselves if you are both willing to see beyond the pain.
With my most sincere and deep love, Diana
Good Luck!




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