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Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by baseball55 on August 5, 2017, at 18:14:03

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future Pontormo, posted by alexandra_k on August 5, 2017, at 3:57:33


The thing to do is the nodding and smiling 'yes sir, no sir, anything you say sir' social smoothing... And I can't / won't do it. I just can't / won't. The whole social game of 'I pat your back so you will pat mine' - I find it psychopathic. I won't play that game.
>

I don't think such "social smoothing" feels like playing a game to most people. Having pleasant interactions with others is, for most people, a joy and enhancing that pleasure by saying positive things makes many people happy.

You seem to think that saying pleasant things goes against people's grain but is done to manipulate and I think this is untrue for most people.

Saying it like it is, or like it seems to you, can create conflict partly because what "it is" and what "it seems to you" are not necessarily the same. There is an expression you hear a lot in 12-step groups about speaking up and telling it "like it is:"

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Does it need to be said by you?

If you ask yourself these questions, I think you will realize that things often don't need to be said and will not be well-taken. Sometimes it's best to let things go.


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poster:baseball55 thread:1094235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20161002/msgs/1094371.html