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Re: Thanks, Phillipa alexandra_k

Posted by Dinah on June 26, 2014, at 0:06:56

In reply to Re: Thanks, Phillipa, posted by alexandra_k on June 25, 2014, at 23:44:35

It's not the end of seeing him ever. If I have something specific to process I'll see him.

What I won't do is see him week in and week out, never knowing when the other shoe will drop. When he will again do exactly the same thing he did this time and hurt me horribly again.

I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Therapist caused me incredible pain. I don't like pain. I know therapist could very well cause me that sort of pain again. Therapist doesn't even pretend that he would do anything differently. I don't want to be hurt again so I don't want to see therapist on a regular basis again. In fact, it may be some time before I can see him for a single session. I think therapist, I think pain. Simple aversion psychology. Even my dog exhibits it with the oven timer.

Perhaps some people could just accept that from time to time incredible pain will happen. Or accept that at any time he could just abandon me with barely a mass email and no real explanation at all. And just enjoy the time we have together. But I can't. I wouldn't enjoy the time together.

And I certainly am not going to *pay* for the possibility of suffering incredible pain and the certainty of constantly being vigilant and afraid that something will happen and I won't know when, where or why.

How can time affect that? Twenty years of building a relationship didn't stop it from occurring. A few more years of him being around without abandoning me won't keep me from being aware it could happen at any moment.

Is that really hard to understand?

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:1067158
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1067390.html