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Re: Ideal Therapist

Posted by baseball55 on September 1, 2013, at 19:50:22

In reply to Re: Ideal Therapist » Poet, posted by Twinleaf on September 1, 2013, at 18:54:10

I had a traumatic childhood and adolescence which I completely buried At 49, my life was falling apart, I was drinking a lot and was addicted to opiates. I went to a detox and didn't know how to benefit from it, but I knew I needed help. So I started calling older male p-docs. For some reason, I knew this was what I wanted. I went to 3 appointments and realized I wanted to see the first person I had met.

I saw him exclusively for 6 years. He insisted I find a DBT therapist and I saw them both weekly for a year or so. Now I see my p-doc once a month for half-an-hour, just to keep in touch. I am planning to cut back in the fall to every two months.

he was/is great. When I started to meet with him, I began to feel this overwhelming need for unconditional love which i had not gotten as a child. I had a traumatic childhood and adolescence that I had buried completely. I think he understood at the outset that I was not going to be an easy patient.

My transference issues were out of control. In retrospect, what I love and respect about him is that he (a) maintained good boundaries and talked honestly about the need for boundaries. I would have left my husband for him in a heartbeat, but he wasn't even remotely available. (b) He was always compassionate and kind, but he talked always about what we were working on and reminding my that this was work, not just a fantasy friendship for hire. I needed to get honest and work hard on my problems. (c) he was always very straightfoward and would brook no dishonesty. I learned how to feel and express feelings honestly. When I could barely speak, he encouraged and pressed me, not harshly but firmly, saying things like -- we've talked about painful things before. If you can't, you can't. But try.

I could go on and on. I have never loved or respected anyone in my whole life as much as I loved and respected him.


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poster:baseball55 thread:1049989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130807/msgs/1050011.html