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just a little vent...

Posted by B2chica on February 5, 2013, at 10:02:14

my T is hard to get ahold of these days, besides, i dont have the money to see her anyway. So i'm going to do a little freak-out on ya'll.

i'm loosing my job in 100 days.
after 16 years with this place, 'they just cant find any funds to keep me on'. Mainly because my primary boss took another job. Yes his position will be replaced but this place moves as fast as molasses on a cold day. it could take up to 2 years to find replacement.
I've applied to 5 other positions within this company and NOTHING! i'm feeling like a complete and total worthless pile of @#$. i'm so freaking specialized i KNEW this would happen.

So basically i'm going to have to start all over. start at ground zero, in some crappy job that i'll hate, which will worsen my depression, i'll have to go on new meds, have to take days off due to side effects and probably get fired.

i think what's freaking me out the most is that 'I' carry the insurance for my family, AND the retirement, AND i'm stable income.
i Dont want to loose our house, i Dont want my children to suffer, and i DONT want to leave this company!
i HATE THIS!
why wont anyone hire me?
i have degrees!, i have 16 years experience and i've just taken two online courses regarding brain.
hospitals only want nurses.
colleges only want professors
rehab centers only need physical therapists
WTF?

*********************
i'm going to check with my boss and take tomorrow off work and trod around town with my resume in hand. maybe i should just go to parking lots and put it under people's windshields... :(

*****************
on another note. i've been praying aLOT, and everyonce and a while i have a moment of clarity and KNOW that i trust in God's will and that things will happen for a reason. So if i'm meant to go without a job for a while, then that will be that. BUT its hard to keep that faith. AND i dont want to be docile and just lay down and let the birds carry me away either. i need to keep looking.

SO please my babble friends, think of me tomorrow and send me good Job Finding vibes.
i'll be needing them...

thus starts the countdown. 100 days left.

b2c.


"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:B2chica thread:1037403
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120922/msgs/1037403.html