Posted by froyo on August 14, 2012, at 0:08:08
In reply to Have you seen her again? How did it go? (nm), posted by Dinah on August 13, 2012, at 12:40:19
Thanks for following up!
Yes, I did see her again. I told her how I felt weird, mostly because I had never verbalized all of those problems I had been having to any one person at any one time. I didn't say anything about her tears, but I did mention how saying all of what I said to someone made me feel as if my life really was super f*ck*d up. She was really honest with me by saying that my life has been harder than most people's and while I think that she would have thought that it would make me feel as if my feelings were justified, it just made me feel more even morefucked up, haha).
The way my insurance works, it would have been really expensive to see a psychiatrist at this student mental health center, but she had said that I could sign a release for her to send her notes to a physician on campus (whose appointments are free to me) in order to get on a medication that could help. I had a small time frame, but I had asked her how long she said that she needed to prepare one, and she said that I could have set up my appointment for the next day and let her know and she'd get it ready. I set mine up for 2 days from then, sent her an email that afternoon and I was crushed at the appointment when she hadn't sent over any info whatsoever.
He determined pretty quickly what she had discovered anyways, that either I was mildly depressed instead of having anxiety, or a having a bit of both. I was nervous on taking his suggestion of an anti-depressant (something like celexa) medication at the time because I was still pretty convinced that I was mostly anxious rather than depressed (although the idea appeals to me more after thinking about it, I've been lacking motivation for awhile), and instead just took a beta-blocker (propranolol) for my performance anxiety. I also only got the beta-blocker because I was preparing for (and just had today) my tonsils out.
and my gosh, is percocet and hospital-grade pain killers/anti-anxiety drugs are great---when you have a prescription of course... ;)