Posted by Dinah on June 29, 2012, at 0:09:23
In reply to Re: I do so like my therapist sometimes, posted by Daisym on June 28, 2012, at 21:25:19
> I miss chatting with you both...
> Dinah - the best thing about your therapist has always been his willingness to look at himself and his part in the interactions. I love that he himself uses the "mommy/therapist" term now. :) With so much crap around about creating dependency in clients, it takes a very secure therapist to allow this.
I agree! One of my favorite moments, in retrospect, was the time he was really tired and really frustrated with me and said angrily that he had trouble dealing with dependent women. He was horrified. I was somewhat taken aback. But the next time I saw him, he was a much better therapist than he'd ever been. He'd seen his countertransference and conquered it. And oddly enough it was a very therapeutic moment for me too. My feelings about him were real and he validated my impressions. I confronted him, and he was willing to change. I think that was the first time that ever happened to me in any relationship. It was, in retrospect of course, a pivotal moment for me.
> I had one of those smile moments this week. I was relating an interaction with an intern in which I said, "what do you need from me today?" and my therapist said, "you sound like me." Yup - channeling him totally in that moment. He was fine with that.
I don't know about you, but the fact that I can identify and ask for what I need, with only minor distress, is such a huge step forward from where I used to be. I don't even think I could have imagined such a thing before therapy.