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Re: On a slightly different note Twinleaf

Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2012, at 15:22:00

In reply to Re: On a slightly different note, posted by Twinleaf on May 11, 2012, at 5:37:27

I think you're right about this being one of the most important issues to face in therapy. I hope my therapist understands. He's very supportive of my standing separate from her, but this is something slightly different. I rather suspect it ties into my fears of growing up, among many other things.

I don't think I realized until I worried about whether she would die just how much her strength is part of my world view. She scares me, she infuriates me, but I can't imagine a world without her stubborn insistence on the world being exactly the way she wants it to be. Her astonishing ability to stare reality in the face and see only what she wishes to see. She draws her own world like "Harold and the Purple Crayon". And yes, it is a form of strength.

I wish I had the strength to be separate without having to push her away. Even if I manage to maintain the distance, the stance is still based on her strength, not mine as a separate entity in the world.




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