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Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by Solstice on February 23, 2012, at 13:58:17

In reply to so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

> it seems to me that when i'm doing well. stress gives me anxiety and i exercise and most is better if not i take a pill or two and things are fine.
> if i'm down already however, get Major anxiety, i shut down and dont talk, 1 pill turns into 6 very quickly. then comes the dark thoughts.
> why is that.
> why when i'm down already do i turn to such thoughts. i mean looked at rationally that seems quick sick. very ill i mean to turn to suicidal thoughts because (lets say) a friend is having severe relationship problems...
> i mean really. i dont understand this.
> i know i have ptsd but can that really be it. is it that i'm already down there and the thoughts are just waiting for a reason to filter through?
> someone please give me your insight.
> and WHAT does one do when then hear things from people that REALLY upsets them, say job issues, or friends or family relationship issues.
> please.
> b2c.

Hi b2.. if the difficulties of those around us affect us like that, sometimes it's because we are extra-compassionate, and maybe taking on responsibility for things that is not ours to take... in that we feel like we have to make their world okay. It can be a big relief if we can really grow into the understanding that the only people we are responsible for is our own self, and our minor children. The world is a tough place. Especially now, because the long and deep economic crisis causes a lot of stress everywhere.

But we cannot make decisions for anyone else (i.e. if someone we really care about is staying in an abusive relationship and that stresses us). YOUR job, though, is to know your limitations and sensitivities. If you are hanging on by a thread, it's your job to protect your fragile state. You may have to retreat from relationships that involve a lot of drama/trauma until you are stronger. I know that during the period of my deepest depression, I did not watch the news and I didn't read the newspaper. You have to insulate yourself. For you and your kids. Tell people that you really do care about them, but that you are not in a place where you can share their burden. You really do need to know that you are not responsible for others. When you are healthy, you can be a shoulder to cry on.. but right now you cannot do that without hurting yourself.

Please take care of yourself.





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