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Re: Why do we want our Ts to like us? » pegasus

Posted by Dinah on May 2, 2011, at 7:18:58

In reply to Re: Why do we want our Ts to like us?, posted by pegasus on April 28, 2011, at 8:58:03

I hope it does lead to an interesting conversation. When do you see him?

I think context may be important in this topic. In general I can't imagine why such a natural wish would be an issue, or even why it wouldn't be taken for granted.

In context, is it possible that he meant your desire to be liked was influencing your behavior within the relationship, and compromising therapeutic effectiveness? I can see where wanting to be liked could lead to hiding or reframing the more negative aspects of ourselves. I've heard people talk about not wanting to tell their therapist something for fear of having the therapist think badly of them. Or of putting their best face on in therapy. I always think that's sort of counterproductive in therapy. Not least because the being who is supposedly being "liked" is not the real person.

I think I've always demanded to be accepted or rejected by my therapist for my most authentic self. Maybe he's the one who sees that self more than anyone else. He also may be the only person who likes that self. Maybe not to bring home, but at least in the confines of therapy.

Except for my dogs, God bless 'em. And maybe my father. Maybe.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:983719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984329.html