Posted by Daisym on March 9, 2011, at 14:20:30
In reply to terrible session, posted by pegasus on March 9, 2011, at 12:46:56
You were triggered off in a huge way - sounds like an emotional flashback to me. Those are painful and exhausting and can be very confusing because they don't typically come with pictures of events but are more chaotic feeling states that envelope us and cause major shut downs.
I know this terrible place and I'm sorry you are there. I've come to think of it as a surreal bubble of the past - but the feelings are so strong and current that it feels like all the bad stuff just happened. When we touch into this place, it hurts and old defenses jump to attention. Recovery from the flashback can take days or longer - I think of the psyche having to recover from a bruise that comes from bumping into a sensitive and vulnerable place.
Plus - you essentially broke a rule, both with the SI (even if it is in the past) and in talking about it. The old prohibition is obviously very strong. And this is just a guess, but since it is so strong, when you mentioned this before as part of your history, you likely minimized it or did it embedded in lots of other information.
Maybe try writing it down to clarify - go over the session on paper. Often the further away from it we get, the more muddled it seems. Then take it in next time to help avoid the shut down.
And be easy on yourself. Making dinner and going to work might just be enough.
poster:Daisym
thread:980299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/980307.html