Posted by Annabelle Smith on February 11, 2011, at 21:16:02
I haven't felt this depressed in a long time. It has hit a new low. And it began after my session. Because then hope died, and is dead until next week, at which point the cycle repeats itself.
My session is so upsetting, because there is so much more to discuss that I didn't get to. There are several significant issues that we have never talked about, because like today, the focus has to go to more immediate concerns.I feel so depressed that I physically ache. My low back hurts, there is a shooting pain in my jaw, I feel nauseous, and my chest aches inside in the left center.
I can't do this. There is nobody to go to. My last option is a suicide hotline. I have been researching suicide methods since my session. I don't know if I have the courage to do this. It is just a leap-- and I am afraid. It has to be a total leap and has to be done just right.
I could start the anti-depressant medications. I just don't want to be on them forever. I don't want to be alone in this.
I feel so alone right now. Eternally, absolutely alone. This is hell. Dear God, please save.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:979122
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/979122.html