Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2010, at 12:27:32
In reply to Re: Foot in mouth - Funny (but not) therapy story » lucielu2, posted by Dinah on November 7, 2010, at 21:57:53
It started off very badly. My therapist had forgotten the entire incident. Eventually he remembered he had said he dreaded seeing me or hearing me speak or something. But he claimed I should have known what he meant, he got defensive, I got upset. Eventually I got angry enough that I whipped out my iPad and opened up this thread.
I read him the original post and asked him if I had accurately represented the situation. He agreed I had. I read each post in the thread, without stopping.
I'll never understand my therapist. I thought he'd be angry that I had exposed his actions to the internet. Instead he approved of my use of Babble. He said he had always thought that this was the best utilization of Babble.
I thought he'd be defensive at the comments, but instead all his defensiveness had dropped. He said he realized, as he had listened, that he had gotten lazy with my therapy. That he doesn't prepare for my sessions as he does for others, and has the idea sometimes that he can come and be himself, and sit in the chair and have a conversation. He said that he should take a moment to center himself, because he realizes that our sessions should, if anything, require more preparation, not less, because we've long since passed the easier parts of therapy. He said he hadn't particularly *liked* being compared to a butcher, but that he understood the point. That he does owe me the best he has to give.
That was the main point he got from the posts, but he also acknowledged that his word choice was very poor and that he had hurt me. Although he was steadfast in stating that he didn't really in any way dread my voice or my sessions. I had him repeat back to me in his own words why what he had said was different from other things he had said, and we discussed what sort of honesty might be hurtful. He also gave me permission to never let him forget it, and to jab him with it whenever I felt the need. :)
I told him I really didn't want him to get supervision, and he said he wouldn't. That he felt rather thoroughly supervised after hearing Babblers' comments. :)
Then he told me how glad he was to have a client who was strong enough to talk to him about these things, and not to run away. He said that because of me and my willingness to confront him (and the input of Babblers I presume), he grows as a therapist in ways he otherwise would not.
We ended on a very good note, and I thank all of you for helping us to that conclusion. I'm not going to pretend I believe he'll never fall asleep again. But I'm hoping he won't forget this session anytime soon.