Posted by workinprogress on November 9, 2010, at 0:19:20
In reply to Re: ? for long term therapy folks... Dinah, Lucie, etc, posted by lucielu2 on November 8, 2010, at 21:50:04
Thanks so much! I know I HAVE made a lot of progress... I just wish I could do all of those things all or at least MOST of the time. Right now, they are all still so new, I'm in a place of trying to keep learning them and making them more ingrained and accepting when I don't quite do them. I'm also in a place of accepting that I have had some pretty considerable dysfunctional patterns/behaviors that make my therapy more "required" than just "buffing up the rough edges". For some time I thought I was in a place of just really doing some personal development to be a better person. I now am realizing that I am actually doing work to be a normally functioning human... to catch up with everybody else. That has been a challenging realization.
But yes, those have been good things. And a lot of progress... thank you for acknowledging it!
> I am so impressed at your laundry list of things you have already accomplished in therapy! You should be very proud of your achievements. The attachment piece will come. Like everything else, it will take time and hard work, but anyone who has been able to do all these things in therapy must have a very effective relationship with T and also the capacity and motivation to take risks and make deep changes in herself. So together with the skills you have learned, I think you are really on your way. Hang in there.
> > * I can identify and name feelings (feelings are actually FELT... which I had no concept of)
> > * I can identify and correct black and white thinking (sometimes!!!)
> > * I have lots and lots of healthy coping mechanisms to keep me from "flooding" (thinking through my feelings, yoga, breathing, going for a walk, telling myself the feelings will pass like the weather, etc)
> > * I am aware of and can sometimes stop/correct negative self talk
> > * I know about differentiation
> > * I recognize when I'm being a victim/looking for places to be abandoned
> > * I can sometimes recognize that I am assuming that because I feel a certain way about myself other people must as well (not true)
> > None of that was stuff I could do before... or even had a clue about. They probably seem like simple things listed out here, but for me they are not. I am much more grounded. I am much more aware. And I am much more myself. Hell... I HAVE a self!
> > This secure attachment stuff is kind of the holy grail... I just want it D*** it!!! ;)
> > Anyway... enough for now. I have to get to bed so I can get up for my new job tomorrow (I'm taking an hourly job so that I can go back to school- when I was salaried I had more freedom to come and go).
> > xo
> > WIP
> > >
> > > I think it might also be a bit of a different struggle when your therapist is a man because adult attraction comes into play as well - but maybe not. But add those feelings to the already complicated little kid feelings and wow - give yourself a break for struggling with this. It is a huge thing to be willing to engage in the struggle at all. And I guess I'd encourage you to not minimize all that you've accomplished just because it is still uncomfortable or gets uncomfortable. I think that is just realistically, part of all relationships.
> > >