Posted by lucielu2 on October 16, 2010, at 20:56:46
In reply to Re: Attachment vs. transference » lucielu2, posted by Daisym on October 16, 2010, at 0:05:39
Interesting point, Daisy. I agree that it has been a co-construct. I wish T's would be more open about this. He does tend to play it as if all the progress was unilaterally achieved by me but that has always felt like party line to me. He has acknowledged that as he's gotten to know me, he's learned how to be a better T to me, how to address my needs. He has become more trustworthy by the way he has behaved over the years. And the more I have known him, the more I have trusted him. And he has learned that I too can be trusted. If he tells me something about himself, I will appreciate it and be helped rather than freak out over the self-disclosure. He knows I will continue to try to work hard in therapy, and even if the going gets rough I will still be there. We've learned each other's sensitivities. We've learned that we will each be there, week after week, in that room together working toward the same purpose.
So what was there all along that I did not always see, especially in the early days? His good will and commitment to me. That was right in front of me and yet I had difficulty seeing it.
I'm so glad you got your doctorate. This is such a fascinating area, and you've always brought so many great insights to this board. Congratulations on your new degree!
> But has it really been right in front of you? More likely it wasn't - it was deeply buried. And not only that, but just as you've changed over the 8 years, so has your therapist. So your ability to accept caring and support from him is partially from the work you've done to take it in but it is also from the work he has done to offer it in different ways. As he grew to know you, he made himself more trust-worthy...if that makes sense. I think we build capacity together.
>
> It sounds like you've done great work and you sound much happier. Good for you!
poster:lucielu2
thread:965065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/966023.html