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Still not done, Lucie?

Posted by lucielu2 on October 1, 2010, at 16:11:02

Well, I haven't posted here for some time, and I've missed Babble. Like Witti, I see that my most intense postings were from about 2 years ago. A lot has changed, and some things not so much. My relationship with my H has improved tremendously and so has my ability to work. I'm still seeing my T, now in year 8. It is an interesting time - if therapy were divided into 3 periods, my 3 would have been 1) utter craziness, mayhem, and trying my hardest to run from my T; 2) getting down into heavy stuff and actively engaging with him while still trying to run from him; and 3) most of the bad stuff is behind, but now a whole inner life, it feels, needs to be reconstructed. Now a closer, more comfortable and secure relationship with my T - we've been through so much together and know each other so well. Sometimes I feel like we're almost done and I feel guilty for continuing to come. Crazy before, not crazy now, hmmm, shouldn't I be freeing up both of our calendars? But something important still feels unfinished to me, and he doesn't think I'm quite done, he wants me to feel more secure in my relationships before turning me loose on the world. Sounds easy compared with what came before and yet, the old issues keep cropping up. I feel new insights but also old frustrations at seeing those familiar haunting faces again. I am not there yet, and boy, am I ambivalent about it...

 

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poster:lucielu2 thread:964402
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/964402.html