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Re: My goodness, Dinah! twinleaf

Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2010, at 9:33:52

In reply to My goodness, Dinah!, posted by twinleaf on September 18, 2010, at 15:38:34

It's good to see you back!

I'm not sure there were any huge positive steps. Certainly I'm doing better and handling things better, though I still spin off the tracks occasionally. I've got a medication regimen that makes me feel pretty confident that I won't feel *too* bad. I seldom felt the need to call him between sessions, and when I did I frequently didn't call him anyway. Because while there are some times he can be helpful, there are many other times that he just can't. I did better when he was on vacation, and instead of feeling sad that I wouldn't be seeing him, I felt sort of relieved that I didn't have to drive all the way down there.

I'm sure that's all some sort of growth. But in the end, it felt like boredom. As you probably remember, I didn't exactly idealize him. But in recent times, our relationship has become more equal. He self discloses more. I'm not sure if that's a therapeutic strategy or just because there wasn't enough material to fill the session. At any rate, it sort of broke some bond in our relationship to have us sitting more person to person than therapist to client. To be fair to him, it wasn't a huge shift, just a small one. But the small one changed the power differential.

I'm afraid that going from twice a week to once a week effectively dooms my therapy, because I'm just not that good at holding on to things. I'll likely forget who he is to me emotionally. It just doesn't scare me as much as it once did.

Nothing terribly profound there, I suppose.

How have you been doing?




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