Posted by violette on August 5, 2010, at 20:59:27
In reply to How do I start??, posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 13:59:10
> I'm wondering, how do i start talking about this with my T? Has anyone had experiences of mistrust and brought it up with your T and had a positive outcome? I think i just need to discuss our relationship more with my T as the daily sessions has brought me closer to him so maybe i'm taking things he says more personally than i ought to. Can anyone help me?
Well my T knew I didn't trust him and as a result, gave me tons of reassurance. I did not tell him I didn't trust him though-he sensed it through my defense mechanisms and other ways.
Sometimes when things are difficult to bring up-I say I have something to tell him that's difficult to talk about. So then we talk about why it's difficult to talk about-w/o mentioning the actual subject. Then it leads to direct converxsation about the topic anyway.
Another thing you could do is test him-say little snippets of your concern w/o full disclosure. It's always best to be direct, but fears are fears, so little things could build courage. You could say, for example, is it common for a patient to not fully trust a therapist who they've seen for x # of years? He may say something to make you feel more comfortable. Like, yes, some patients never trust due to their adverse childhood experiences...etc...etc..he could say something that would help you feel safer which may encourage you to express the fears.
I've never had sessions more than once a week, so I don't have much to help you out. Now that I think about it, however, I did not always tell T of my distrust fears directly, though I did sometimes...I have told him after the fact on several occasions. Regardless, everything I bring up comes out positive in the end as he says any and all feelings are welcome. And it is true. I bet your T thinks the same.
The closeness from the extra sessions may be triggering, or so I'd imagine, rather than you're "taking things personally"; it might be attachment fears....Hope you are able to talk to him. You might feel alot better; it just might involve building up more courage to do so? Maybe a little at a time would help?