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feeling the unthinkable

Posted by annierose on June 17, 2010, at 22:26:16

Although I have been in therapy for a really really really long time, I feel I always hit a brick wall eventually. When sharing stories about my childhood, it's more that I report to my therapist what I saw, what I went through and how I protected myself.

On Tuesday, during an added session, I felt a crack open in my emotional armor. It was a nice session and I left feeling more connected to my therapist.

Later that night, as I passively watched a movie while catching up on my e-mails, I overheard a scene from the movie ... wherein the girl, age 16, was left parentless. At that moment, I sobbed and sobbed. All these feelings of being left alone with no adult to help me came crashing into my being. It was a good cry. Although I was sad, it was a huge release to finally feel what I kept pushing away.

It's a start. Six years later ... and it's a freaking step forward... not a leap.

 

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poster:annierose thread:951371
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/951371.html