Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: Want to quit, but do I need to 'fess up, first?

Posted by Marie Box on May 11, 2010, at 18:55:41

In reply to Re: Want to quit, but do I need to 'fess up, first? Marie Box, posted by Dinah on May 5, 2010, at 7:25:50

I just find most everything about therapy to be humiliating. I have definitely made progress outside of the therapy room; I have opened up more, cried to people close to me, expressed what I want/need from people. But I just close up with my therapist. It's like I don't want to be emotionally open with her because she knows what a big deal it is--because she understands the struggle behind it--and it feels like breaking down or admitting defeat after struggling for so long.

I am mortified that I can't contain these emotional responses to her enough for them not to interfere with therapy. The longings and gratitude that I feel, and the self-attacks and self-loathing that follow--they are just so painful. And I can't figure out if it's worthwhile because the only time my life really feels like its going down the tubes is when I feel these things, which is only after I reach out to her for help and she responds. And the idea of saying all of this to her, and even having her respond seems like it would just throw me overboard into a sea when I don't have the strength to swim. But I don't know what else to do. It just feels like there's no solution.

It is nice to hear that you all research psychology stuff too! I have quite a collection of internet bookmarks now.

Also, Dinah, thanks for telling me about how your therapist can't read your mind. I haven't been sure how much I'm supposed to expect out of my therapist; it makes me feel better knowing that it's pretty normal for a therapist to need things explained out in explicit detail.

In my head, I really think that I just wanted to tell her, "Well, it looks like I've grown attached to you." But that's so embarrassing because of all of what she probably knows that could entail. And if she doesn't know, I'm sure she'll ask me to explain.

I skipped my last appointment :( I'm going to try really hard to force myself to go this week. I just dread it.




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